Because I was a dutiful fourth-grade student, my desk was at the back of the classroom – sixth seat in the row of six wooden desks with cast-iron legs. Bobby Arnold sat in front of me in the fifth seat. The troublemakers, of course, sat in the front of the room close to Mrs. Boomgarden’s desk and her ever-watchful eye.
One fateful morning, Mrs. Boomgarden had written our six-week math test on the blackboard at the front of the room. The test was hidden behind the pull-down map of the world and the pull-down map of the US; their cords swung ominously marking time as she paced in front of them giving the test directions. We had 30 minutes to copy and complete the problems. Blank papers and sharpened pencils lay on our desks; there would be no excuse to leave our seats during the test (and possibly sneak a peek at a neighbor’s work). She yanked the cords. With a crack like a starting gun, the maps snapped up and the test began!
After thirty minutes, Mrs. Boomgarden called “Time,” and started to collect the papers. When she came to me, she asked suspiciously, “Why aren’t you done?” And my reply of “I had to wait for Bobby to finish and give me his glasses so I could see the board” opened a new world! I was marched to the nurse’s office, told to read the eyechart (I could see the big “E”), and my parents were called.
The Eyes Have It
The snow was gusting across South Dakota as my father drove me to the ophthalmologist’s office, grumbling that this was a waste of time – he could see perfectly, my mother could see perfectly, and I always had my nose in a book, so obviously I could see perfectly. “No kid of mine needs glasses!” he fumed as we slipped and slid on the icy roads which made him even more grumpy. He sat in a chair behind me during the eye test, rigidly annoyed, but as the tests went on, he occasionally murmured incredulously, “You can’t see that?” And when the tests were over, his eyes teared as he said, “Why didn’t you tell us you need glasses!” Because I thought everyone saw the world through a gauzy curtain… except, of course, for Bobby Arnold!
And so began my visual odyssey – from the expensive clear plastic frames my father agreed to buy and that I hoped no one would notice, to my first pair of contact lens that were so big they covered most of my eyeballs, to losing one of my lens in the silk folds of my wedding dress as my father prepared to escort me down the aisle – and at last to yesterday’s astonishing result of having the first of my two cataracts removed!
Everyone assured me that my life would change. I was sure they were right, but I worried about HOW my life would change! I love my life! I play tennis, I write and edit franchise manuals, I take photos for wall art, I devour books – what if something goes wrong? One slip of the knife, of the laser, and my life would change irrevocably! But I reluctantly agreed … because I really needed to see better if I were going to continue playing tennis, writing, taking pictures, reading…
The surgery was painless, in and out of the office in a couple of hours, instructions received, eye-drops provided, and I went home to take a nap.
Rinso White! Rinso Bright! Happy Little Washday Song!
Yes, I am a Boomer. As a child I grew up listening to the radio with jolly commercial jingles.
“I’d walk a mile for a mild, mild Camel. They’re so mild, they suit me to a T’.”
“Double your pleasure, Double your fun, Doublemint, Doublemint, Doublemint Gum!”
And today I am living the Rinso commercial, complete with the before/after laundry detergent effect!
When I look out of my left eye with good vision provided by my contact lens, I see everything with a yellow, murky overtone caused by a cataract – the Before Rinso Look. When I look out of my new right eye, everything is dazzling and bright – like Rinso-washed laundry hanging on a clothesline in the sun!
The eyesight with the new lens is everything that everyone promised – clear, bright, and much better than the vision I was born with!
But the new brightness and improved vision did not come without a cost! I had been warned that I would suddenly be aware of dust bunnies lurking in corners, smudges on windows, and shocking facial wrinkles. Happily my house is cleaner than I thought and the once-creamy walls are still the gallery white I prefer. But then, I looked into the mirror … and instead of seeing a face with wrinkles softened by obscuring cataracts, I saw myself in a new light – literally!
Have a Good Day, Honey
No wonder salespeople tend to call me “Dear”, and strangers offer to lift my bag into the overhead compartment on a plane. Even though I can run around on the tennis court like the Energizer Bunny, I look really OLD! After I finished gasping at my reflection, I decided to face the facts; my mother had a ton of wrinkles, my grandmother had wrinkles, and my great-grandmother had wrinkles. No amount of Ponds Vanishing Cream was going to take mine away. Temporarily mitigate? Maybe. But genes are genes, after all.
Yet now I wonder – could there be future lens implants with facial softening software, like my phone app? Even if I couldn’t fool you IRL, at least I could go back to fooling myself!
Cyndee Perkins 
It’s a mirac
hello cyndee
Collette, how wonderful to hear from you!!! I will send a lengthy email this weekend. I hope all is well with everyone in your life! I miss you very much!! Cyndee
Love this! I can so identify! However even though behavior was not an issue , I sat in the first row all through grade school. In 7th grade we were put in alphabetical order. Lucky for me Jackie Ilig sat in front of me…with glasses…equally nearsighted! Continually sharing got me a trip to the nurses office!
Pat Jakobsen
I am consistently surprised by our parallel lives! Thank goodness for Bobby and Jackie!!
You look absolutely gorgeous!!!
Hahaha!! (But I love your kindness!)
Oh, Cyndee, your story made me smile and laugh! ( I hope you get it published. It is delightful!)
I am so glad you are doing well. Take care. Xoxo
We are looking forward to your return!!
WOW!! Do you think when I have my cataract removed I will be able to to write like you?? So happy you can “ see clearly now” girlfriend.💕
you do realize that smiles causes wrinkles! So keep on smiling, it’s in the genes you know .
I had not thought about the smiling/wrinkles connection. Does it work in reverse? If I am grumpy, will I erase the wrinkles? (Just writing that made me smile … so another wrinkle added!)
I didn’t think you could improve upon perfection…but I guess I was wrong!! ❤️
I will now be able to see Marty’s eyerolls when I say something totally outrageous!
Your thoughts on this were priceless! I too entered the world as “four eyes” in 4th grade. They were the mod 60s white rim! Although I saw so much better , it wasn’t until I finally saved up for my first pair of hard contact lenses I could see every detail of the leaves on trees! Now I wear multifocal lenses. Aging is inevitable but all defined by attitude. You, my dear, have an incredible attitude and sense of humor! Thank you for sharing !🌴
It’s amazing how many people have related to getting glasses in elementary school! One of the best results was that I was no longer the last pick for playground games because I could actually see the ball!
What a fun read ! I’m not really surprised to find you are a wonderful writer among your many other talents. Thanks for sharing . I can’t wait to read more!
You are way too kind, but thanks, Gayla! You might get a laugh out of the previous blog that includes my intro to PL tennis (Grandma Moses and Me).
fabulous blog! Right on! Love your narrative!!
Thanks, Karen!! We should write the CTCE story!
What a great idea!!!
Anne C.
Excellent!! I’m still waiting for cataract surgery.. and also inherited those “Larrabee wrinkles “ 😩🙃🤣Sent from my iPhone
I’ve had bifocals for years, but I focus on if my hair is combed, not my what my face is doing! 😉
A good idea! My mom always criticized women who didn’t comb the hair on the back of their head – I’m totally paranoid about it!!
Hi Cyndee,
I just realized that WP gave me the name “ecstaticb1c6982c1f” –
I wonder what the “b” is for???
Anne Cheng
Bee-yute’-ifull, of course!