ALL THAT GLITTERS … MIGHT BE GOLD!

Two circles of my life have intersected like a Venn Diagram. The life of the retired senior who drives an aging Mini and tends to hold on to things “just in case” has overlapped with the life of the person who writes operations manuals for franchise companies. I don’t feel the need for a haircut when I write for a salon, nor the urge for a hamburger when I write for a restaurant, but the decluttering manuals were a call to action!

As I looked at the boxes that hadn’t been opened in years, including some with our parents and even our grandparents’ belongings, I realized that it wasn’t fair to leave three generations of “stuff” for our children to deal with.  And who knew what treasure might be hiding in those boxes that they wouldn’t recognize as “valuable.” Tracy McCubbin’s book Making Space: Clutter Free became my action plan! It was fun to read, and she didn’t make me feel guilty about keeping boxes labeled “Cyndee’s High School Memorabilia” or “Perk’s Navy Papers.”

THE GREAT PURGE

Perk and I started with the garage where we had golf clubs in cracked vinyl bags (we haven’t played golf in over thirty years), electric hedge trimmers (we live in a condo), empty boxes that we might need just in case we dropped Amazon Prime (highly unlikely). We purged, and we threw away, and we decluttered, and suddenly we had open shelving and empty storage bins! The good news was that we found no creepy-crawlies. The bad news was that we found no treasure.

A few weeks later, we tackled our walk-in closet. When was I going to wear a size Small beach coverup that I bought in Manzanillo thirty-five years ago? How many Hudson Bay blankets does one need in Florida?  Why was there a bin of Christmas stocking stuffers that no one wanted? We found blank checks from accounts closed years ago and a bin of 3.5 floppy discs with unknown data, but nothing of value. Going, going, gone!

We progressed through the linen closet, kitchen cupboards, shelves of books and games until the latest effort – my jewelry boxes filled with items that I no longer wear in this retired, casual, senior lifestyle.

PAY DIRT!

The price of gold has shot through the roof into the condo above us! Gold buyers throughout Florida distribute flyers and set up shop in local hotels to buy cast-off jewelry. Ads to sell gold pop up on social media feeds. Even celebrities hawk “cash in your gold” on local TV.

But how to declutter jewelry boxes? I decided to start with McCubbin’s first question: WHY are you keeping this? And then I added, WHAT are you going to do with it?

Should I keep the jewelry? Should I sell it as scrap?

I separated my jewelry into four groups:

  1. Jewelry with sentimental value that is priceless- literally
  2. Jewelry that I rarely wear, and might be willing to part with
  3. Jewelry that has no sentimental value, and if it’s worth its weight in gold, then it’s on the block!
  4. Jewelry that should go to a thrift store for a Halloween costume … or into the trash

I took groups two and three to Amore Jewelers in Bonita Springs. Bill Skidmore spent an hour helping me understand why certain pieces of jewelry had value and why I might NOT want to sell them. What was their history? Would I regret letting them go? What would I do with the gems if I sold the gold settings? By the end of the hour, I had several items to keep, and we had discarded a few costume pieces. Bill had a small pile of 14 karat gold jewelry and a small pile of 22 karat gold jewelry that he weighed separately; and those two small piles of glittering gold jewelry that I cared nothing about … turned out to be worth a surprising amount of money! Treasure indeed!!

A CHARMED LIFE

A gold charm bracelet, the first gift Perk ever gave me, was in group one – priceless. The first charm was a mortarboard celebrating our college graduation, followed by an engagement ring charm, a wedding disk, a trinacria from Sicily, children’s births, an abacus, a cartouche, a kangaroo — golden mementos of a lifetime together. I haven’t worn the bracelet in decades. It snags my clothes, disturbs other concert goers, and dangles too close to candle flames when we’re dining out.

I was keeping the bracelet, but what was I going to do with it? I wanted to share the memories, not let them grow even older in a jewelry box. And I came up with the perfect solution!

Bill removed the charms from the bracelet, restored them to their original glow, and secured the loops so that I could string the charms together on a golden chain of embroidery floss. I looped the garland through the lighted branches of a tabletop birch tree so the memories glimmer like dangling holiday ornaments. And I made a booklet recording each charm and its story for our children and grandchildren to read, should they ever be interested.

Unlike my mother’s Murano glass swan, great-grandmother’s Limoges china, and the wax records of my teenage aunts singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in 1943, our children will not look at the charm bracelet one day and say with exasperation, “What should we do with this!?” They can divvy up the charms of their own memories, put them back on the bracelet, or sell them for glittering scrap gold …

The moral of this story is, if you’re going to look for treasure while you’re decluttering your home, start small. Forget the garage. Forget the walk-in closets. Go straight to the jewelry boxes!

AI KEEPS US ADORABLE

Nearly twenty years ago during a veritable monsoon in Houston, I drove our VW convertible through a puddle that turned out to be a pond. Water surged over the hood of the car which chug … chug…ged to a slow halt. I waded knee-deep to the curb where a sympathetic neighbor brought me an umbrella.

When I received a call from the repair shop, “Cody” sorrowfully reported that the car was totaled. Totaled? Our fun little convertible? I sputtered, “Can’t you do something? It wasn’t salt water. It was rainwater; my mother used to wash her hair in rainwater! It can’t hurt anything! Can’t you just dry out the sparkplugs with a hairdryer? What’s the big deal?” After a moment of silence, Cody drawled, “No disrespect, Ma’am, but just how old are you?”

When I didn’t reply, he explained patiently, “It’s the electronics, Ma’am. They got wet and they’re done for – like if you dropped your computer into the bathtub. Better check out your insurance.”

Young at Heart

Luckily the convertible was a second car, so we weren’t in a hurry to replace it. We finally chose a pearl white Mini Cooper S with a blue top and blue leather upholstery; it had all the “bells and whistles” of 2006 – cruise control and two side beepers if you came too close to another car when parking. Backup cameras, lane control devices, automatic brakes were Marty McFly accessories of the future. The car was small enough that our Texas friends could toss it onto the bed of one of their pickups if we ever ran into trouble!

Because the Mini was marketed to younger people and most Texans preferred oversized powerful vehicles, Perk and I often received surprised looks as we scooted through the traffic of Houston with the top down, driving it through the Texas Hill Country, going on jaunts to see fossilized dinosaur tracks in riverbeds and photographing the fields of blue bonnets. We felt young and carefree in the Mini. One day as we stopped at a red light, a pickup truck full of teenage boys sped by. One leaned out of the back of the truck and shouted, “Hey! Your car matches the color of your hair!!” And they were right, of course!

One evening when we were getting into the Mini, two couples in their thirties crossed the parking lot to ask about it. We were enthusiastic about the mileage, how fun it was to drive, that it had a low center of gravity and hugged the curves in the Hill Country, how we could squeeze into parking lots that were supposedly full.  As they walked away toward their pickups, we heard one of the women say, “Aren’t they adorable?”  Oops! Again we realized that although the car made us feel young, we didn’t look that way!

Retired, but Not Tired

A Mini is rarely seen in southwest Florida because it’s not comfortable for retired senior citizens: it’s hot to drive it with the top down, it’s difficult to get in and out of as your muscles tighten and your bones creak with age, mature women don’t like their hair blowing in the wind and mature men don’t want their bald heads to sunburn. But Perk and I refuse to give in. We’re young at heart and we’re driving a car that proves it!

We were in the technology education business and, hairdryers and sparkplugs aside, we have embraced the new technologies. I love all the safety features on the new cars. I love my smart phone, my tablet, my camera, my Kindle, my computer and its oversized monitor. And with retirement, I have had time to embrace all of them. When AI and Chat GPT became easily available, I was an enthusiastic adopter. I have used it for such diverse tasks as planning menus for friends who have chronic kidney failure, experimenting with apartment decor, valuing antiques, and troubleshooting why my oven quit working. AI is Alexa or Siri on steroids!

Got Gas?

No, I’m not resorting to a flatulence joke. A few weeks ago we opened the Mini’s garage and smelled gasoline! We hastily called REA Automotive owned by our favorite mechanic. Ryan has maintained the Mini for twelve years and the aging car is his joy almost as much as it is ours – after nearly 20 years, the engine still purrs and the car accelerates as if it just came off the showroom floor.

He ran tests for five days – every possible check from the EVAP hoses and charcoal canister to UV fluorescent dye detection. No test revealed a gas leak, but he could smell it. The leak was there – somewhere. At last Ryan called a “family council.” We sat in his office, mourning the next step. (It made me think of our children sometime in the future, trying to decide what to do with us!) Ryan advised taking the Mini to the dealership to sell it for parts because we didn’t want to endanger someone by selling it to them to drive. We reluctantly concurred.

Chat GPT: The New Anti-Aging Solution

But when we got home, Perk declared, “Let’s not give up. The Mini is US. It’s old, but fun to have around occasionally – just like we are! I’m going to ask Chat GPT.”

Opening the AI function he wrote, “What could cause a gas leak in a 2006 Mini Cooper S with 76,000 miles on it?” Within seconds, Chat GPT replied with a lengthy list of possible causes – all of which Ryan had already investigated. Until the very last one: a miniscule hairline crack in a part that could only be discovered by removing the back seat of the car and using a floodlamp.

And there Ryan found it. And fixed it.

And here we are, thanks to AI, driving the Mini with its top down, our white hair blowing in the breeze, and of course, still adorable!