ALL THAT GLITTERS … MIGHT BE GOLD!

Two circles of my life have intersected like a Venn Diagram. The life of the retired senior who drives an aging Mini and tends to hold on to things “just in case” has overlapped with the life of the person who writes operations manuals for franchise companies. I don’t feel the need for a haircut when I write for a salon, nor the urge for a hamburger when I write for a restaurant, but the decluttering manuals were a call to action!

As I looked at the boxes that hadn’t been opened in years, including some with our parents and even our grandparents’ belongings, I realized that it wasn’t fair to leave three generations of “stuff” for our children to deal with.  And who knew what treasure might be hiding in those boxes that they wouldn’t recognize as “valuable.” Tracy McCubbin’s book Making Space: Clutter Free became my action plan! It was fun to read, and she didn’t make me feel guilty about keeping boxes labeled “Cyndee’s High School Memorabilia” or “Perk’s Navy Papers.”

THE GREAT PURGE

Perk and I started with the garage where we had golf clubs in cracked vinyl bags (we haven’t played golf in over thirty years), electric hedge trimmers (we live in a condo), empty boxes that we might need just in case we dropped Amazon Prime (highly unlikely). We purged, and we threw away, and we decluttered, and suddenly we had open shelving and empty storage bins! The good news was that we found no creepy-crawlies. The bad news was that we found no treasure.

A few weeks later, we tackled our walk-in closet. When was I going to wear a size Small beach coverup that I bought in Manzanillo thirty-five years ago? How many Hudson Bay blankets does one need in Florida?  Why was there a bin of Christmas stocking stuffers that no one wanted? We found blank checks from accounts closed years ago and a bin of 3.5 floppy discs with unknown data, but nothing of value. Going, going, gone!

We progressed through the linen closet, kitchen cupboards, shelves of books and games until the latest effort – my jewelry boxes filled with items that I no longer wear in this retired, casual, senior lifestyle.

PAY DIRT!

The price of gold has shot through the roof into the condo above us! Gold buyers throughout Florida distribute flyers and set up shop in local hotels to buy cast-off jewelry. Ads to sell gold pop up on social media feeds. Even celebrities hawk “cash in your gold” on local TV.

But how to declutter jewelry boxes? I decided to start with McCubbin’s first question: WHY are you keeping this? And then I added, WHAT are you going to do with it?

Should I keep the jewelry? Should I sell it as scrap?

I separated my jewelry into four groups:

  1. Jewelry with sentimental value that is priceless- literally
  2. Jewelry that I rarely wear, and might be willing to part with
  3. Jewelry that has no sentimental value, and if it’s worth its weight in gold, then it’s on the block!
  4. Jewelry that should go to a thrift store for a Halloween costume … or into the trash

I took groups two and three to Amore Jewelers in Bonita Springs. Bill Skidmore spent an hour helping me understand why certain pieces of jewelry had value and why I might NOT want to sell them. What was their history? Would I regret letting them go? What would I do with the gems if I sold the gold settings? By the end of the hour, I had several items to keep, and we had discarded a few costume pieces. Bill had a small pile of 14 karat gold jewelry and a small pile of 22 karat gold jewelry that he weighed separately; and those two small piles of glittering gold jewelry that I cared nothing about … turned out to be worth a surprising amount of money! Treasure indeed!!

A CHARMED LIFE

A gold charm bracelet, the first gift Perk ever gave me, was in group one – priceless. The first charm was a mortarboard celebrating our college graduation, followed by an engagement ring charm, a wedding disk, a trinacria from Sicily, children’s births, an abacus, a cartouche, a kangaroo — golden mementos of a lifetime together. I haven’t worn the bracelet in decades. It snags my clothes, disturbs other concert goers, and dangles too close to candle flames when we’re dining out.

I was keeping the bracelet, but what was I going to do with it? I wanted to share the memories, not let them grow even older in a jewelry box. And I came up with the perfect solution!

Bill removed the charms from the bracelet, restored them to their original glow, and secured the loops so that I could string the charms together on a golden chain of embroidery floss. I looped the garland through the lighted branches of a tabletop birch tree so the memories glimmer like dangling holiday ornaments. And I made a booklet recording each charm and its story for our children and grandchildren to read, should they ever be interested.

Unlike my mother’s Murano glass swan, great-grandmother’s Limoges china, and the wax records of my teenage aunts singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in 1943, our children will not look at the charm bracelet one day and say with exasperation, “What should we do with this!?” They can divvy up the charms of their own memories, put them back on the bracelet, or sell them for glittering scrap gold …

The moral of this story is, if you’re going to look for treasure while you’re decluttering your home, start small. Forget the garage. Forget the walk-in closets. Go straight to the jewelry boxes!

AI KEEPS US ADORABLE

Nearly twenty years ago during a veritable monsoon in Houston, I drove our VW convertible through a puddle that turned out to be a pond. Water surged over the hood of the car which chug … chug…ged to a slow halt. I waded knee-deep to the curb where a sympathetic neighbor brought me an umbrella.

When I received a call from the repair shop, “Cody” sorrowfully reported that the car was totaled. Totaled? Our fun little convertible? I sputtered, “Can’t you do something? It wasn’t salt water. It was rainwater; my mother used to wash her hair in rainwater! It can’t hurt anything! Can’t you just dry out the sparkplugs with a hairdryer? What’s the big deal?” After a moment of silence, Cody drawled, “No disrespect, Ma’am, but just how old are you?”

When I didn’t reply, he explained patiently, “It’s the electronics, Ma’am. They got wet and they’re done for – like if you dropped your computer into the bathtub. Better check out your insurance.”

Young at Heart

Luckily the convertible was a second car, so we weren’t in a hurry to replace it. We finally chose a pearl white Mini Cooper S with a blue top and blue leather upholstery; it had all the “bells and whistles” of 2006 – cruise control and two side beepers if you came too close to another car when parking. Backup cameras, lane control devices, automatic brakes were Marty McFly accessories of the future. The car was small enough that our Texas friends could toss it onto the bed of one of their pickups if we ever ran into trouble!

Because the Mini was marketed to younger people and most Texans preferred oversized powerful vehicles, Perk and I often received surprised looks as we scooted through the traffic of Houston with the top down, driving it through the Texas Hill Country, going on jaunts to see fossilized dinosaur tracks in riverbeds and photographing the fields of blue bonnets. We felt young and carefree in the Mini. One day as we stopped at a red light, a pickup truck full of teenage boys sped by. One leaned out of the back of the truck and shouted, “Hey! Your car matches the color of your hair!!” And they were right, of course!

One evening when we were getting into the Mini, two couples in their thirties crossed the parking lot to ask about it. We were enthusiastic about the mileage, how fun it was to drive, that it had a low center of gravity and hugged the curves in the Hill Country, how we could squeeze into parking lots that were supposedly full.  As they walked away toward their pickups, we heard one of the women say, “Aren’t they adorable?”  Oops! Again we realized that although the car made us feel young, we didn’t look that way!

Retired, but Not Tired

A Mini is rarely seen in southwest Florida because it’s not comfortable for retired senior citizens: it’s hot to drive it with the top down, it’s difficult to get in and out of as your muscles tighten and your bones creak with age, mature women don’t like their hair blowing in the wind and mature men don’t want their bald heads to sunburn. But Perk and I refuse to give in. We’re young at heart and we’re driving a car that proves it!

We were in the technology education business and, hairdryers and sparkplugs aside, we have embraced the new technologies. I love all the safety features on the new cars. I love my smart phone, my tablet, my camera, my Kindle, my computer and its oversized monitor. And with retirement, I have had time to embrace all of them. When AI and Chat GPT became easily available, I was an enthusiastic adopter. I have used it for such diverse tasks as planning menus for friends who have chronic kidney failure, experimenting with apartment decor, valuing antiques, and troubleshooting why my oven quit working. AI is Alexa or Siri on steroids!

Got Gas?

No, I’m not resorting to a flatulence joke. A few weeks ago we opened the Mini’s garage and smelled gasoline! We hastily called REA Automotive owned by our favorite mechanic. Ryan has maintained the Mini for twelve years and the aging car is his joy almost as much as it is ours – after nearly 20 years, the engine still purrs and the car accelerates as if it just came off the showroom floor.

He ran tests for five days – every possible check from the EVAP hoses and charcoal canister to UV fluorescent dye detection. No test revealed a gas leak, but he could smell it. The leak was there – somewhere. At last Ryan called a “family council.” We sat in his office, mourning the next step. (It made me think of our children sometime in the future, trying to decide what to do with us!) Ryan advised taking the Mini to the dealership to sell it for parts because we didn’t want to endanger someone by selling it to them to drive. We reluctantly concurred.

Chat GPT: The New Anti-Aging Solution

But when we got home, Perk declared, “Let’s not give up. The Mini is US. It’s old, but fun to have around occasionally – just like we are! I’m going to ask Chat GPT.”

Opening the AI function he wrote, “What could cause a gas leak in a 2006 Mini Cooper S with 76,000 miles on it?” Within seconds, Chat GPT replied with a lengthy list of possible causes – all of which Ryan had already investigated. Until the very last one: a miniscule hairline crack in a part that could only be discovered by removing the back seat of the car and using a floodlamp.

And there Ryan found it. And fixed it.

And here we are, thanks to AI, driving the Mini with its top down, our white hair blowing in the breeze, and of course, still adorable!

GRANDMA MOSES and ME

I’m not quite sure what I thought “retirement” was going to be, but I lasted six weeks! Reading my previous blogs has made me realize that I thought I was ready to enjoy endless days of bonbons, reading novels, being amused by the police reports of a retirement community and watching nature.

But in truth, how many times can you watch a rabbit hopping through your hedge? After a few weeks, even an early morning bobcat prowling the backyard or a 6-foot invasive iguana on the other side of the creek didn’t get my blood racing.

I dug out my racquet and headed to the community tennis facility to take up the sport again after thirty+ years. The pro took my racquet and asked, “Did you ever ski?”

Not knowing where this was going, I replied, “Not recently.”

He continued, “Were you ever in a ski lodge?” Yes.

“Did you ever notice what was above the fireplace in the lodge?” Old skis.

He handed the racquet back. “Do you have a fireplace?”

I loved his humor and got the message that I should upgrade my equipment! So I bought a new racquet and joined a tennis team.

Weeks later, my body was moving, but my brain was getting mushy. I could guess “who done it,” after the 3rd or 4th chapter in a book. I contacted a friend, who called a friend who offered me a job as a contract writer for FranWise, a company that produces manuals for franchised businesses.

I absolutely love my job! It combines my love of language, my experience in franchising, and my desire to learn about new things. (It also keeps me from foraging in the refrigerator!) I have explored diverse business concepts, ranging from QSR (I used to call it “Fast Food,” but it’s now “Quick Service Restaurants”) to eyelash salons. I have flirted with AI. I’ve learned to write in gender-neutral pronouns, although I admit that it’s tough to type “They is…”

But even with tennis and contract writing, I still had way too much extra time. When Perk and I went on a tour to China in 1979 (our only organized tour), he was the photographer. I was the pack mule carrying lenses, film, filters, and tripods. On that trip we learned that we see different things, and I drove him nuts saying, “ Did you get that? … Oh, take that picture! … Oh, no, you missed the shot of the baby in the embroidered jacket!” I was so annoying that one of the other travelers said, in a snide voice, “Did you ever think of getting your own camera?”

Thirty+ years later,  I got a great camera. I have learned that I love photography far beyond “recording the event.” I love seeing what others don’t see, looking for new angles, catching the light, and creating new art by combining elements of several photos. I have them printed on canvas, giving the pictures the look of paintings.

I often tilt over a pier to get an aerial view of a heron fishing in the shallows below; people step over me as I lie on the path photographing a lotus dewy in the morning light, or frown as I sneak too near an alligator sunning on the shore or a horned owl standing sentinel on the creekbank.

I’m thinking of renaming this blog “Pictures, Predicaments, and Perk,” because he’s the one who holds my camera bag and extra batteries, grabs my shirttail when I lean too far over the rail, and hoists me to my feet when I’ve been lying near a lotus pond.

But the best news is that a fun retirement hobby has turned into a mini-business! I’ve won a couple of prizes in a local art show, and have sold several pieces of large custom wall art. I’m the Grandma Moses of Photography!!

Click here to see some of the photos that I love most!

A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE

Leopard Correct 2

Leopard at Mala Mala

Nature has never been “my thing.” I’m more in tune with books and technology – a Kindle freak and a camera junkie. Our kids had the usual assortment of pets – from dogs and cats to rabbits and hamsters. Our family frequented zoos, of course, and even took a photographic safari to Mala Mala in Africa, but actually seeking out animals in the wild on my own was absolutely foreign to me. The closest I ever came to nature was when a wood duck plummeted down our fireplace chimney in Minnesota and had to be rescued.

Eventually we moved to Texas and I was forced to confront nature in the raw. When a wolf spider the size of my fist decided to explore my VW convertible, I exploded from the car screaming, “Ragno, Ragno –Aiuto! Aiuto!” I couldn’t think of “spider” or “help” in Spanish and reverted to Italian; the Hispanic groundskeepers at our office looked heavenward for spiritual succor and hastily backed away from the hysterical woman screaming in a foreign language!

At times baby copperheads slithered down the hall outside my office, fire ants found me particularly delectable, and once a Portuguese Man-o-War wrapped itself around my thigh at the Galveston beach. I learned to check out my surroundings in Texas.

But now I live in Southwest Florida. Sometimes when I sit on our lanai in the early morning, I feel as though I am channeling Walt Disney! As the sun brightens the treetops, baby bunnies and squirrels have been known to peer through the screen at me, owls hoot in the nearby nature preserve, anhingas pose on the creekbed rocks behind our condo and stretch their wings to dry. The setting is so idyllic that when I rouse myself to refill my coffee mug, I would not be surprised if bluebirds tied an apron around my waist and told Cinderella to get to work!

Not HONY, but AOSWF

Having lived mostly in “the North,” I am enamored by the Animals of Southwest Florida. My camera (a Nikon P600) has been key to helping me discover nature in detail. With its 60X optical zoom, I see things through the camera that I could never see otherwise. I love shelling at Barefoot Beach where osprey shelter their young 30 feet above me on nesting platforms.Osprey (Once a friend and I watched a young osprey learning to fly in fits and spurts; I was so mesmerized that I forgot to take pictures!) Sometimes I use the camera on my phone to photograph the shore birds as they snatch minnows and crabs in the ripples. Gopher tortoises poke their heads out of their burrows, then emerge to stroll to nearby grasses for a leisurely snack. Cranes, herons and pelicans eye fisherman and try to steal their bait.

Egrets fish and ibis grub in our back yard. Dolphins gambol in the wake of the pontoon boat ferrying us to an island beach, where even the jellyfish are Disney benign!Dolphin A couple of weeks ago, I saw the beach rangers  gently carrying platter-sized jelly fish from the shallows back into the waves. I could feel those burning man-o-war tentacles grasping my thigh as I remonstrated with the rangers – surely they should at least have gloves and shirts on their bare hands and arms! But, no, they patiently explained, these were moon jellies and not dangerous to humans.

Birds, dolphins, jellyfish were all good subjects, of course, but I was eager to photograph an alligator in the wild. Our neighbors regaled us with tales of eight foot gators sauntering down the road in front of our condo; but when pinned down, they confessed that it was five or six or maybe ten years ago – not recently. I went on lengthy walks, checked out ponds, looked in reeds for sleeping logs, but to no avail. The keepers at the Naples Zoo told us that alligators feed at night, that they were uninterested in humans unless someone had been foolish enough to feed them. Regretfully I concluded that gators were unlikely to be cruising my suburban neighborhood. I was ten years too late.

Call of the Wild

Our young grandson loves netting minnows in the creek behind our condo – hanging on to tree branches to get a longer reach into the brackish, murky water. Our son-in-law (he of intrepid driver fame in a previous blog) likes to cast for bass from the bank and has caught some big ones.

Late one afternoon I heard a call, “Cyndee, better get your camera!” I ran to the creek before the big one got away. A cast – SNAP! An unseen fish grabbed the shiny lure, then spit it back into the water! Another cast – another snap! Only this time the “fish” was visible – a log with sharp teeth, beady eyes and large nostrils. And it looked annoyed that the shiny lure was not a silvery bass!Alligator

I took lots of pictures of our creek visitor, but I confess that I am no longer quite so carefree about walking near the ponds and reeds looking for wild life in the neighborhood. I’ve photographed more gators lurking in the water and sunning themselves on the shore of the nature preserve during the day, but I remain reading my Kindle comfortably on the lanai at night. I’m still channeling Walt Disney, of course, but in the evening I’m more in tune with Peter Pan and the ticking croc, than with Cinderella and the bluebirds!

Relax…Breathe…

The highway digital sign crying “Silver Alert – Missing elderly man in gray Mercedes, License XXXX” signaled our entry into Florida. Having spent the last twenty years living in the suburbs of DC and Houston, we are accustomed to snipers, car-jacking , kidnapping and Amber alerts, murder and mayhem…missing children, but not missing seniors!

Loving the Beach!

Loving the Beach!

Whenever we relocate, we approach the adventure as if we were moving to a foreign country – new foods, new vocabulary, new customs. We followed the same process with this move to the Naples area.

We quickly adapted to the new foods: Tex Mex has been replaced by Italian and fresh seafood restaurants.

New vocabulary: “In Season” no longer means to wear white after Memorial Day, but refers to the time of year when tourists invade the Florida beaches.

New customs: Relax…breathe…relax…  Keeping up with the 80 MPH traffic on the Interstates around Houston has given me a heavy foot and an attitude. Traffic on Highway 41 (Tamiami Road) to Fort Myers is nearly as congested as it is on Beltway 8 in Houston, except that it moves at 1/3 the speed; instead of eighteen wheelers and super big pick-ups rocketing past us on the Interstate, a plodding phalanx of luxury cars block all three lanes. We are trying to learn to calm our ulcers and enjoy the pace.  After all, we are retired. We don’t HAVE to be anywhere! Relax..breathe…

All the News…

I am a print newspaper person. Yes, I have my Kindle for books, my tablet for research, my phone for email, and my computer for blog writing. But I love my paper and coffee in the morning, even though the news is 24 hours old and I’ve already read the highlights on Google.  Embarrassed though I am to confess it, my favorite part of the Daily News is the police reports!

The first one I read hooked me forever:  a motorized wheelchair had been found in downtown Naples; if not claimed in 90 days, the wheelchair would be turned over to the finder.

I pondered with another cup of coffee: did the chair take off on its own? did junior high kids joy-ride in a stolen wheel chair, and then abandon it? was the occupant of the chair suddenly raptured?  Did he appear in heaven wearing his clothes, but leaving his wheelchair behind?

After the murder and mayhem of Houston, the domestic “violence” reports here are lifted from the 50’s. A few of my favorites from the last weeks are:

  • The couple who were arrested because he scratched her neck and left a red mark after she struck him with a phone charger cord. This is violence?  Have they never heard of assault weapons?
  • A woman who attacked another with a hair dryer. That was the whole story in the paper. I want to know more! Was the dryer set at full power and on hot? Did the victim’s hair stand on end?
  • The adult who threw a soup can at the teen-age boy who had not started his chores. The boy had a bruised arm and “the soup can was taken into evidence.” With some fast thinking by the “perp,” this report could have been the gentler version of the Alfred Hitchcock episode where Mary killed her husband with a frozen leg of lamb, then roasted it and served it to the investigating officers. Why didn’t the guy have lunch before the police arrived?

And the crime stopper:

  • A man was arrested for operating a dental office out of a one-car garage. He picked up people at the local grocery store and drove them to his place of business. He quoted undercover agents $350 for a root canal, and was charged with practicing dental hygiene without a license! Where can I get a license for flossing? Target? CVS? Walgreens?

Barefoot

Lest you think I don’t like it here, let me extol the virtues: really nice people, amazing photo ops, great restaurants and beaches. Beaches and more beaches, and all within a few minutes’ drive! We often have to remind ourselves that that we don’t have to “go back” in a few days – we’re not on vacation. We actually LIVE here!

Now if we could only learn to relax…

It’s a Small World, but a Big Decision

My aunt once announced that Perk and I had to quit moving because she had run out of space for us in her address book. When I calculated the number of places we have lived over the course of our marriage, I realized that we averaged a move every three-four years – sometimes to a new city, sometimes to a new place in the old city. I started keeping an inventory of our worldly goods, so that we could divest ourselves of them more easily with each move. We’ve pared down considerably.

???????????????????????????????When we were moving from Minneapolis, I measured my bookshelves in the new DC condo and made tough choices; as an English teacher, I had collected books for decades. Our son carted boxes of cherished volumes to the used book store until the manager cried, “That’s enough! We can’t take any more!” My son sorrowfully choked, “But I don’t know what to do with all of these. My parents aren’t with me anymore.” Assuming that we had moved on to that great Barnes and Noble in the sky, the manager relented and took all 3,000 (yes, three THOUSAND!) books.

Where in the World?

This next relocation, however, is disconcerting because we have no parameters for our decision-making.  Being retired, we do not need to worry about the commute time to the office, the quality of the schools, or even the city we live in. We only need to think about where we want to go, and it’s a big world out there!

As a Type-A Virgo, I had to invent some boundaries for myself.  We began by thinking about what we wanted in a new location:

  • A destination place We are gregarious, accustomed to lots of house guests. Apparently our delightful presence is not enough of a draw, because NO ONE accepts our invitations to come to Houston.  As my friend Ann Flanagan said, “Once you’ve seen the zoo and the beer can house, what else is there to do?”

    Beer Can House

    Beer Can House

  • No snow We lived in Minneapolis, Chicago and sometimes snowy DC for most of our lives. I’ve learned how much more room you have in the trunk of your car when you don’t have to carry bags of sand, snow brushes and jumper cables. I rarely complain about the rain in Houston … I don’t have to shovel it!
  •  Clean beaches I love sitting in the sun and smelling the salt water, wading in the surf and feeling the sand slip from beneath my toes. I don’t want to know what could be slipping from beneath my toes on the shores of the Potomac or on the red tide beaches of Bolivar Peninsula!
  • Things to do We like street fairs and open air concerts, science museums, funky art galleries, baseball games and people-watching.  We like to be outside, dressed in casual clothes and munching goodies purchased from sidewalk vendors.

After we considered the above four bullets, we still had too many options – California, the Carolinas, a Caribbean Island?  We added criteria:

  • Affordable
  • Healthy lifestyles
  • Friends to show us around

We were making progress, but decided that we needed input from the most important people in our lives.

Gulf Coast Sunset

Gulf Coast Sunset

Yes, we consulted our grandchildren. Where did they want us to live? Where would they like to visit us? I loved that their first response was “Paris”, but it’s too expensive for many visitors, snow sometimes clogs the Champs Elysees, the Seine is not for wading.  Their next choice was inevitable …

…and so we’re off to Florida. It’s a Small World after all!